


Maybe we're in love

by whitedandelions



Category: Mulan (1998)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crossdressing, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-22 13:56:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17061044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whitedandelions/pseuds/whitedandelions
Summary: The matchmaker finds Mulan a general to marry named Li Shang.  He’s handsome, but they’re not in love.  But Mulan will never dishonor her family by declining the match and resigns herself to a life of waiting for her husband to come back from battle.  Until the war happens, and she realizes, she’s not very good at waiting and she is not going to let her father die.





	Maybe we're in love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SunlitStone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunlitStone/gifts).



> happy yuletide! :) I saw your letter, and read you liked fake/pretend relationship, and I just had to write a treat for you.

When Mulan first meets Shang, he’s still clad in armor.  He looks a bit terrifying as he is, with blood splattered across his chest plate, but when he takes off the helmet, there’s a beautiful smile on his handsome face.  The dichotomy makes her heart race, and she’s suddenly grateful she hadn’t protested the courtship.

She bows her head as she’s been taught, and when she looks up, Shang looks a bit uncomfortable.  She pauses, wondering if she’s done something wrong, but then she meets her mother’s eyes over Shang’s shoulder, and presses on, pouring the tea until Shang takes the seat across from her. 

They don’t really talk, not with both their elders watching them like hawks, and when they finally leave, Shang bows and she answers as perfectly as she can.

She worries all night if she’s done something wrong, if she’s somehow ruined this courtship before it even started, but Shang sends a basket of oranges the next day, and that’s that.

* * *

Shang seeks her out the next day.  When it’s just her, and she almost stumbles when he says her name.  They shouldn’t be alone, she thinks, but she doesn’t dare say so, and her heart almost stops beating when he looks at her with earnest eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he says, “but I don’t know how good of a husband I can be.  I want to do right by you, but if my superior calls, I cannot stay.  And I don’t know when I can return.”

She waits before she says anything, knowing her answer must be considered carefully for it is going to change her life.  Shang is looking at her as if he’s asking her to go to her doom, but he does not understand that he is giving her freedom.  She loves her family with all her heart, but she does not dare disgrace them, not when she can bring honor to them by marrying Shang.

If she cannot have Shang’s heart, then that is a small price to pay.

When she tells Shang this, he bows his head and takes her hand into his.

* * *

They get married in a year.

Her family is ecstatic.  The ancestors make a racket, and Mulan, although knowing that the courtship is a lie, can’t help smiling the whole day.  The wedding is beautiful, Shang even more handsome than normal in his robes, and she almost drops her façade as she makes her way to her newly married husband.  It’s hard to be so proper all the time, but she cannot risk the courtship falling through, so she raises her head high and speaks with a voice, clear and dignified, when it is her time to say her vows.

Shang sleeps next to her on their wedding night, calm and peaceful and dead to the world.  Mulan does not sleep - her heart beating far too fast for that to be a possibility - and watches the rise and fall of Shang’s chest and wonders if marriage is supposed to be this painful.

* * *

Shang leaves for a battle the very next day.  Mulan does what is expected of her and sees her new husband off, before retreating to pour tea for her new in-laws.

It’s not a horrible day, all things considered, and she spends most of it watching the streets, wondering when Shang will be home.  The servants tease her about her longing expression, and Mulan lets them, knowing it’ll be easier in the long run to believe they’re madly in love.

Except when Shang returns, with a broken arm in tow, she nearly falls as she rushes over to her husband’s side.  Her hands look awfully small next to his arm in its cast, and she stares in dismay at the obvious sign of her husband’s work.

“Are you okay?” eventually makes its way past her lips, and there’s a strange expression on his face when she looks up and meets Shang’s eyes.

“I don’t want you to worry,” Shang says, but he grips Mulan’s hand with his one good hand and lets the servants usher them into the dining room.

* * *

They spend time together when Shang’s home. 

They have tea, and they talk sometimes.  Not often, but they do.  Mulan has to reign in her tongue most of the time, because it is not proper for her to chatter, but the time they spend together is nice.  Comforting in a way.

Sometimes, at night when Mulan gets ready for bed, Shang will brush her long hair out until it’s shining and untangled. 

One day, Shang leaves, and it’s different.  His expression is stoic, and when he rides out, he does not look at her.

This time, Shang may not come back.

* * *

She hears the news before Shang comes back home. 

Her father’s being drafted. 

Her father with no sons and only her to honor his name. 

She has to stop and breathe for a few minutes, her heart pounding as she tries to wrap her mind around it.  Her father will die if he goes. 

But she cannot ask Shang to dismiss her father.  And beyond that, the fact that China is drafting men as old as her father meant that China is in dire need of men. 

Which means Shang himself might be in even more danger than usual.

It doesn’t take long for her to make up her mind.  She’s never been one to sit and stay at home, even if she’s been trying her best to enjoy it the past few months.

Being Shang’s wife has been relaxing, in a way she’s never thought she would have.  And she enjoyed it, and she enjoyed Shang’s company even more, and that’s why she’s not going to hesitate to go out there and protect both her father and her husband.

* * *

Sneaking past Shang’s guards and servants are easy.  They see her as a docile wife, and they don’t expect to see her hoisting herself over the walls in the back. 

Her house is a little more difficult.  It’s raining, a storm so bad that there’s thunder in the distance, and she thinks the storm provides enough cover that no one will notice a daughter coming home to visit.

And no one does.  No one _human_ does.

A dragon, a small, tiny red one stops her.  He announces his name as Mushu and really, Mulan would fret over the fact that her ancestors sent her a dragon this small to protect her, but she’s got busier things to do.

So she accepts his announcement and then breaks in and steals her father’s old armor.

She only hesitates for a second when it comes to her hair.  It’s long and beautiful, and before Shang, she never would’ve thought twice.  Her hair used to be just a way to get a match made, but now?  It’s a connection between Shang and her, a reminder of the nights they spent with Shang brushing her long black hair.

But her _father_ needs her, and that’s enough for her to bring her sword down.

When her locks are on the floor, she doesn’t give them another look, racing out the door and to the stables.

* * *

Mulan does not expect to hide her identity from Shang.  Even with her hair gone, and her clad in armor, she can still see herself in the mirror.  Shang will know his wife, and for some reason, Mulan thinks he won’t send her home.

He does not.  He only falters once when he catches sight of her, and then when he purses his lips, she wonders how mad he is.  She gets her answer when he puts them all through a rigorous training regimen, and she’s embarrassed by the end of it when it’s obvious she is horrible at it.  Her only solace is that the other men are hardly any better, and that they’re still at training camp, meaning she’ll have a while to get better. 

“Ping?” Shang asks when she walks into his tent late at night, and he’s not shouting, but he sounds angry all the same.

“I’m sorry,” she starts out with immediately, “But my father was drafted and I couldn’t ask you to not take him.”

Shang stares at her while he listens, and then he puts his head in his hands in an obvious sign of defeat.  “I’m in charge of this camp,” he says, “and I wouldn’t have taken him if you just asked.”

“Oh,” the word is torn out of her, but still, she can’t regret coming, not when it means she can finally be at Shang’s side.  She sits next to him, and wonders if he’s going to send her home.  When the silence stretches, she thinks she’s made a mistake coming.

After a few long minutes of silence, Shang asks, “Do you want to stay?”

“Yes,” she answers, surprised, and Shang nods once, as if reaffirming his own decision. 

* * *

They get better.

Mulan finally gets used to responding to the name Ping, and even beyond that, she gets used to the training exercises her husband uses. 

She’s the first to make her way up the pole, throwing the arrow down and aiming a cheeky smile at her husband.  When Shang looks unamused, she just grins, no regret in her heart as she makes her way down.  He does scold her when she enters his tent that night, but it’s half-hearted at best, and Mulan wonders if Shang had wanted a warrior for a wife all along.

Because they talk now.  They banter, they discuss, and they _talk_.  It’s not what she expected when she decided to come to the army, but she loves it all the same.  She gets to know Shang and falls even harder as a result.  Sometimes, it feels like maybe being proper and putting on a mask before Shang had been the wrong thing to do even if her family had taught her that way all along.

When they finally move on from training camp, they find General Li dead along with a burned doll.  She pockets the doll and then goes to find her husband.

They don’t have much time to talk, even though all Mulan wants to do is hold her husband and comfort him, because the Huns ambush them. 

She swallows her heart down and looks straight ahead at the oncoming Huns.  There’s no way they can survive this; they’re outnumbered, and the Huns will be on them in minutes.

They get in formation, and Yao’s about to light the cannon when she sees it.

She doesn’t have time to look at Shang to convey her plan, and she doesn’t hesitate as she kneels and grabs the cannon from her friend.

When she’s running down the hill with shouts of surprise and outrage following her, she doesn’t think, she just does.

Still, as the cannon hits the top of the mountain and snow starts rushing down, she hopes that she’s done the right thing.

* * *

When she wakes, she’s in a tent unfamiliar to her.  There’s searing pain in her abdomen, a courtesy from Shan Yu, and when she tries to sit up, Shang is there, his hands holding her down.

“Don’t,” he says, “You’re hurt.”

She listens and stares up at her husband.  He looks like he hasn’t slept a wink, but he’s still as handsome as the first day she’s seen him.  She reaches a hand up and presses it against his cheek, and he lets her.  It’s tender, the moment they share, and it’s not long before Shang’s talking again.

“When I saw you fall,” Shang says, “I knew I couldn’t lose you.  Not like I lost my father, not to _him_.”

“We weren’t supposed to have feelings,” she says when Shang looks like he’s about to cry.  “But I have them,” she confesses, “I have had them for a long time.”

Shang is staring at her in disbelief, and she can’t meet his eyes anymore, not with her confession left unanswered. 

But then Shang’s holding her hands tight in his.

“I’ve loved you since I first saw you,” he says, and although he says nothing more, they sit there for a little while longer, holding hands.

* * *

She stays back, not because Shang doesn’t want her with him, but because the injury will slow her down and Shang needs to present Shan Yu’s sword to the Emperor.

And because Shang doesn’t want her to get hurt – not again – but it isn’t as if he has a choice in the matter.  Mulan won’t be the docile wife she pretended to be before, not after this, not after being Ping and loving it.

When she sees Shan Yu, her heart jumps into her throat. 

Shang, she thinks, and sets off on a harsh pace despite the way her injury protests.

* * *

They have a plan.

It’s dangerous, and risky, but it isn’t like they have many choices.

Her friends still don’t know she’s a woman.  Even when she dresses like a concubine, and even when Shang pulls her close and kisses her.

“Stay safe,” he pleads, and then he’s gone to present Shan Yu’s sword to the Emperor.

“Did he just kiss you?” asks Yao, his mouth open in shock, and she turns to him.

“My name is Fa Mulan,” she explains, and she wants to say more, but they have to _move_.  And although Yao grumbles, he goes along, but not before extracting a promise for an explanation later.

* * *

When it’s all over, the Emperor is looping his medallion around her neck.

She’s saved her husband, and perhaps, just as importantly, saved China.  It’s exhilarating, but when the Emperor asks, all she wants to do is go home.

Shang rides home with her.  They camp along the way, just as they had during the War, and they fall asleep next to each other.

But this time, Mulan’s heart isn’t full of pain, only warmth.

* * *

The servants fuss over them when they get home.  They had no idea that their relationship wasn’t real, so when Shang starts to put his arm around her, they don’t react.

But they do react to when Mulan starts to practice her swordsmanship out in the grounds.  They fret over her nails, her make-up, her clothes, and she finds it all trying in a way despite their good intentions. 

She made a promise to herself out there to not let herself be pigeon holed into a role that does not belong to her, and she intends to keep it.

* * *

 

 

A year later, when Shang rides out once again under the Emperor’s command, he is not alone.


End file.
